First Clinical Day

Today was my first day of clinicals, and honestly I’m nervous to say anything at all since HIPAA has been pounded into my head. I think I’m allowed to say that it went well and that I didn’t kill anyone. I woke up at 4:30am. Yes, in the morning. Did yall know that it's still completely dark outside at that time? Ya know why? Cause it's the middle of the night! But anyways, today was pretty basic. We got oriented to the floor and the staff, and did physical assessments on a few patients. It was actually kind of cool to see tubes and drains and suction and wounds. I thought it would completely gross me out, and honestly at some point, I know there will be something that will make me gag or want to die. But for today, no dry heaving for me! Yay! (it’s the little things, really). As our clinical instructor was giving us a tour of the unit and showing us all the supplies, she kept saying “this is a blah blah tube, and you’ll use this for…and you’ll clean it like this…and if this happens, you do this…and if you have a patient with this, make sure you do this…and remember when giving these meds to do this…and don’t forget to always do this…” Now, granted, we are all NA's and have some basic skills and knowledge, we are currently on our first chapter of our first semester in nursing school. We are learning head to toe physical assessments. So as our instructor is telling us every possible situation that might occur for the next 2 years and what instruments and equipment to use in each circumstance, our faces are blank. At first I felt the back of my neck get hot, as my brain started to saturate. I was anxious. I was on the edge of panic. I may have looked fine on the outside, but on the inside my brain was yelling “WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ANYTHING. YOU CAN’T BE A NURSE! QUIT NOW!” I took a second, zoned out, and collected my thoughts. Just as I was about to leave to take a bathroom/mental break, I turned around to see the faces of my 6 other classmates. I could not have been happier with what I saw. Their faces were blank, their eyes were glossy, and they had the same look of sheer panic on their face. It was in that moment that I knew I was not alone in my fears. When we stopped for lunch we all just looked at each other, wondering what the other was thinking. Finally someone said “well that was completely overwhelming and I honestly still have no idea what I’m doing”. That honesty was all it took to burst the bubble. Suddenly all 7 of us were talking at the same time. It was then that we all realized that none of us knew what we were doing and that we all felt the same way. There is some instant bond that forms when you realize that you are not alone in your feelings. So we laughed it off, promised to help each other as much as possible, and went on with our days with a renewed sense of comfort. If I learned nothing else on my first day of clinicals, I learned that there is a power and a strength in numbers, and that it’s okay to rely on other people. Sometimes you will need them, sometimes they will need you. Nursing is a give and take, with your patients, with your coworkers, with your friends, and just in general.

 

 

The Irony of Nursing School

In nursing school we learn the importance of sleep, nutrition, exercise, and how stress affects the body. In nursing school, we set our alarms for 4:45 in the morning and get very few hours of sleep. In nursing school, we are lucky if we get 20 minutes to microwave some Ramen noodles or scarf down a power bar and a coffee. In nursing school, we get home from lecture and clinical with every intent of going for a run, but end up making anatomy flashcards instead. In nursing school we have a test every other day and are literally responsible for the life and death of other human beings. Talk about stressful. Dear Alanis Morrisette, THIS is irony.

 

Blood Boiling

You guys, I am a people pleaser to the extreme. I like to make people happy and it frustrates me to no end when people don’t like me. That being said, I am the least confrontational person ever. You might think I’m exaggerating, but I’m not. This summer, I went out to dinner with my parents and ordered broccoli. When the waitress brought out my broccoli, there was a dead fly laying in it. Did I say anything to the waitress? Nope. I was perfectly content with just letting it be and not causing a scene. I didn’t want to make the waitress uncomfortable! Like, seriously? Think about that. I was willing to sit with a deceased insect in my food because I didn’t want to make someone uncomfortable.

This may sound like rambling, but I have a point (sort of). Today I almost punched a lady in the throat. I’m being semi-serious. It takes A LOT for me to get riled up and speak up for myself. So here’s the story. I parked in visitors parking, where the usual fee is $3 per day, with a lost ticket fee of $5. I get in my car, grab my ticket, and pull out $10. Because I am an over thinker, I sat for a minute and debated on whether I should hand the lady the ticket and then the money, or hand her both at the same time. (Yes, these types of things really go through my mind. It’s exhausting). Once I got to the window I decided to hand her both the money and the ticket at the same time, figuring it would save both of us a few seconds. The lady proceeds to take the ticket, stamp it, and put it in her pile of tickets, all while talking to some other guy working. She then looks at my $10 and says, “okay, that’ll be $5”. Normally, I wouldn’t say anything, but I was confused. I asked her why it was $5 and not $3 and she said “because you don’t have your ticket”. I then calmly explained that I had just handed her my ticket. This is when things got heated. She then told me that I had not handed her my ticket and that it was $5. I did NOT appreciate being accused of lying, so I explained to her that I handed her my ticket and money at the same time and that she had already stamped my ticket. Then, the nosy mcnosypants other worker chimed in saying “I didn’t see you hand it to her”. EXCUSE ME?!?!?! I decided to let it go and just pay the extra $2, so I told her it was fine, and to just charge me $5. She then went on to again tell me I hadn’t given her my ticket. LEAVE IT ALONE, LADY. At this point, I think steam is literally coming out of my ears. I defend myself and explain that she had already put my ticket in her stupid unorganized stack, but that I didn’t care and would be willing to pay the $5. THIS LADY HAD THE NERVE TO CHARGE ME THE $3 AND THEN TELL ME THAT SHE WOULD LET IT SLIDE THIS TIME, BUT THAT I WAS CHEATING THE SYSTEM (ALL WHILST THE MAN IN THE BACK KEEPS CHIMING IN THAT HE DIDN’T SEE MY TICKET)

I can’t go on. My blood is boiling just reliving this moment. I can’t even form coherent sentences right now because the little vein in the side of my neck is threatening to pop out. This is the point where I wanted to jump out of my car, punch them both in the throat, say a few words, and drive through the gate.
Like, I have been thinking/speaking/feeling in CAPS LOCK ALL DAY LONG BECAUSE OF MY RAGE!

The moral of the story is: I can deal with a dead fly in my food, but when some crazy stupid lady accuses me of cheating all because she isn’t paying attention to her job, I CANNOT DEAL.

　

Target

Pens, highlighters, binders. That was my original shopping list for Target today. So how did I leave with $85 worth of stuff? That, my friends, is the magic of Target. I don’t know if it’s the sneakily well stocked end caps, the amazingly cute items, or the fact that they have everything you could ever want or need, but it is near impossible to leave Target empty handed. Me and my roommate left for our shopping expedition with the full intent of picking up a few school supplies and leaving. I had a strong start as we browsed through the shoe section and I resisted the urge to buy everything in my size. I even passed by the clothing section without touching a single item! I honestly don’t know what happen or when things took a turn for the worse, but by the end I had 32 rolls of toilet paper, a package of plastic cups, 4 yogurts, a box of waffles, a box of cereal, a pack of pens, a pack of highlighters, 3 binders, a watch, a Bobble filter, and a new planner. I cringed as I placed the items on the conveyor belt and watched my total climb. I tried to reason with myself out loud, until the cashier laughed at me and snickered “32 rolls of toilet paper? Eggo waffles? Is all this really necessary?” I had sunk to a new low. The cashier was mocking my purchases. I swiped my debit card, gave up a piece of my soul, and loaded my new purchases into my trunk. I left Target feeling a strange sense of both defeat and accomplishment all at the same time. Target tends to have that effect on people, I think.
So next time you go to Target, I dare you to stick to exactly what is on your list. Unless you have written “everything in the whole dang store”, I’m pretty sure there is no way to be successful! Good luck and Godspeed!

PS- I feel like I need to defend my waffle purchase. But they were S’mores Eggos and they are seasonal and will only be around for a limited time! I mean, how can you just pass that by?
PPS- Don’t buy S’mores Eggos. Each waffle has approximately 3 chocolate chips and 1 mini marshmallow. You’re welcome for the warning.

*Photo Credit*

THIS PICTURE IS A LIE! A LIE, I TELL YOU!

Fab Five

I have never been so inspired by athletes in my life. The USA women’s gymnastics team took home the gold tonight and they all had their amazing moments. Congrats to Aly Raisman, Jordyn Wieber, McKayla Maroney, Gabby Douglas, and Kyla Ross!

One of the highlights of the night was Aly Raisman’s floor routine. It was the last event of the night for the womens US team, and they knew that the gold was in sight. You could see Aly start to get emotional as she went for her final pass across the floor. As she landed it, the emotion took over and she began to cry tears of joy. It was at this point that everyone knew the US womens gymnastics team had won the gold, for the first time since 1996. Another standout moment of the night came from Jordyn Wieber. After suffering a devastating personal loss on Sunday night and not making the womens all arounds, it was great to see Jordyn giving it her all and smiling. Her floor routine was so fun to watch, as she smiled throughout the whole thing. However, the most amazing moment of the night came during the first event. McKayla Maroney’s vault was unlike anything I’ve ever seen before. 16 year old McKayla came to the Olympics as a one trick pony. Her only job was to vault and her total time out on the Olympic mats totaled about 2 minutes. And yet the highest score of the night came from this tiny little 16 year old. McKayla had a flawless vault and stuck the landing so perfectly that you could actually see the judges mouths hanging open in shock. (I seriously don't know how she didn't get a perfect score). She immediately knew she had done well and it really was a great way to start off the night for the US women.

Other highlights came from the Russian team. Russian gymnast, Mufasa (or "little devil" according to her coach. Good reputation, right?), had permanent sad eyes literally the whole time. Along with her permanent sad eyes, she also had a permanent bitch attitude. She was seen pushing her coach away after having a poor routine. Then there was the Russian with the really bad bangs and the uneven eyes who fell on her elbows during her floor routine. As she finished her routine, the camera cut to Mufasa, who was seen crying (finally) and not hugging or consoling her teammate. You gotta know that bad bangs felt pretty terrible about letting her team down; she certainly didn't need the attitude or tears from the evil Russian Mufasa.