Letter to my younger self, pt. II

Dear younger Brooke,

It’s been a while since I’ve written you last. Since then I have turned 22 and moved to a new city to start nursing school. I’ve experienced the awkward period of life right after college, where you feel like a baby that’s been kicked out of the womb too early. There are a few things I’ve learned recently that I wanted to share with you, so listen closely. Get on a plane. I know you had a terrible, horrible, no good, traumatic experience, but you can do it. And once you conquer that, the sky is literally the limit. Don’t compare your journey to others. I know that when you’re young, you are basically on the same track as your friends. Unfortunately, no one prepares you for when life happens and the people around you seem to be moving at a faster pace than you. I’ve been told that this is okay, and everyone’s timing and journeys are different. I’m still trying to figure this one out for myself. Work hard. At everything you do. You tend to be disappointed in anything less than perfect, but try to hold yourself to a standard of grace, not perfection. Trust me on this. Don’t stop competitive dance just because you don’t feel good enough. You will definitely regret that. You are going to hit a particularly rough patch in your life, but just keep going. It might feel like your world is crashing down, but you will get through it and be better for it. Don’t feel defined by your appearance. For a long time you will continue to be called “little Brooke” and you will be the smallest in your classes. But this doesn’t last forever, and one day you will have to stop being defined by your size. It will be a hard realization when you grow and change, so prepare yourself for it now. And most importantly, don’t wear underwear under your leotards. It’s not attractive. Now go have fun, watch Matilda, play outside, have a picnic with your Beanie Babies, pretend the floor is lava, and enjoy your childhood.

30 seconds with yourself...5 years ago.

Someone posted a question on Twitter today that really got me thinking:

If you could call yourself five years ago, and had 30 seconds, what would you say?

Well, 5 years ago, I was finishing my senior year of high school. There are a lot of things I would say to my 17 year old self, but if I only have 30 seconds I better make it concise. So here’s what I would say:

“Enjoy the last few months of high school. Don’t worry about college. It will be scary at first, but you can do it. And it will be so worth it. Speaking of college, study. It will be better in the long run. Make sure you let your grandparents know that you love them, they won’t be around much longer. Go to your grandmothers funeral, don’t worry about finals and packing for Beach Project. Go to her funeral. You're gonna suffer a lot of losses in one year. It does get better. Always be honest and have a good work ethic. Be someone who is worthy of respect. You can’t expect others to respect you if you don’t respect yourself. If you need to take a semester off, do it. Your health is more important, so don’t stress out about it. Things are going to change, go with it. Nothing can stay the same forever.”

If you only had 30 seconds, what would you say to yourself 5 years ago?

A Letter to My Younger Self

So, I’m home from Myrtle 2 weeks earlier than expected (long story, not getting into it). But this means I have had more time at home to hang out with family and friends. Today I happened to pull out the old video recorder and decided to take a stroll down memory lane. I watched myself evolve from a tiny (and ugly) 2 month old to a long, skinny 17 year old. It was weird to watch this little girl and I had to keep reminding myself that the little girl was me. There were so many times when I caught myself laughing and thinking “haha, what a cute little girl,” or “ugh, that kid is so whiny.” The videos made me happy and sad all at the same time. They made me happy because I had such a great childhood with amazing parents who clearly loved me so much. Plus, it was the late 80’s/early 90’s…the outfits were fabulous. They made me sad because I can’t ever go back. I can’t ever go back to a time when my biggest worry was that my bow didn’t match my dress, or I forgot how to tie my shoes. The days of playing beanie babies, easy bake oven, and Barbies are over. There were also so many times I wanted to take the girl in the videos and shake her and tell her to hold her chin up or sit up straight.
This got me thinking that I wanted to write a letter to younger me. So here it is:

Dear younger Brooke,
Today you are 21 years old and hopefully a little bit wiser than you were in elementary school. I still have a lot of life left and a lot of things to learn, but in my 21 years this is what I have learned so far, and I want to share it with you. Little Brooke, don’t be afraid to get dirty. Paint, dirt, and sand are all washable, so go play! Dress up for spirit days. It’s okay to dress goofy, especially if there is a reason and it’s okay to stand out sometimes. Don’t wear dresses everyday- it makes it harder to play on the playground, and that is something you don’t want to miss out on. Don’t hit and don’t boss others around. Always be kind, and smile more often. You are a funny person, but people won’t get to see that if you are being bossy and mean. Don’t take naps for granted. Never fight a nap. Take them as often as possible. When you are in high school and college, you will wish you had nap time. Don’t stand on the sidelines. Participate in activities and games. Don’t let fear hold you back. The scary things aren’t so scary once you try them. So at your 3rd birthday party, get in the pool with your friends and stop standing on the side. At your kindergarten picnic, play the field day games and stop standing on the side. Don’t be afraid to participate in life. Because whether you are jumping in or standing on the side, life is happening all the time. Be kind to yourself when you are younger. It’s much harder to do once you get older. And Brooke, don’t keep straight bangs until 10th grade. Seriously.