Plans Shmans.

When you are younger, your perception of time and age is skewed. You think your babysitter, your student teacher, and basically anyone over the age of 15 is old. So you make plans and predictions based off of your skewed idea of time and aging, and sadly, it never quite works out how you planned. When I was younger, I never really pictured myself graduating high school. It’s not that I pictured myself flunking out or anything like that, I just never really mentally got past high school. Then as high school fast approached, I could never picture my life after college. I assumed, much like my mental block of graduating high school, that eventually with time I would be able to picture my life after college. However college came and went. I’m now a year and a half post-grad and I still can’t picture my life after college. High school has a definite end. 4 years and then you move on. College has the same definite end. But the real world? No definite next step, no definite end. And that scares the crap out of me. I think we base our predictions of our lives and our futures by what we grew up with. My parents got married when they were 20 years old, so I kind of assumed that I would finish school and move in with my husband. When you’re young and making plans you never account for the fact that you might be eternally single, or have to move back in with your parents, or move to a random city where you don’t know anybody to chase a dream that you’re not really sure about. It all becomes quite unclear and really nothing like you imagined. My big plan was to graduate, get a job that I loved, move out on my own, fall madly in love, get married, and start having children by the time I was 30. I’m currently 23 and have none of these things. Realistically, at the pace I’m going, I’m not really on track for my plan. Which I’m learning to accept. Plans change. Heck, if I stuck with my childhood plans, I would be living with my best friend Sarah and professional figure skating. Things have a way of working themselves out in due time. I get that, I really do. It’s just hard once you graduate and everyone goes on their own separate paths at their own separate pace. One of my friends is moving to New York to attend grad school at NYU. She’s getting an apartment and living in a big city and studying to get her masters. I can’t help but think how grown up that all sounds. And my other best friend just got engaged and is moving to Kentucky with her fiance. So it’s no wonder I can’t help but feel stuck or left behind. I’ve always moved at a slower pace than everyone else, so I shouldn’t be surprised. So who knows what the future might bring. Honestly, I’m excited to see where life takes me. But I can’t help but feel a little sad for the loss of my childhood plans.

To wrap it up, there’s a song I heard on a CD a friend made for me and the words really hit me while I was driving the other day. There’s a part that says: “Ever since you were a child, you had a picture in your dreams, of how you wanted things to turn out, of what you’d like your life to be. Now you’re living with an image, that you hardly recognize. You don’t have to gloss it over, like everything’s fine.” This is so freeing to me. I know that I can’t dwell on the past, but this just reminds me that it’s okay to feel sad and afraid and confused and stuck when things don’t turn out like you planned. You know what they say, “If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans”. Haha, God. Haha.


　

Things that I am too old for...

When you are younger, you dream of growing up. Driving, going out without parents, making your own decisions, eating whatever you want, whenever you want. Well, reality check…growing up is not all that it’s cracked up to be. Don’t get me wrong, there are definite freedoms and advantages that come along with growing up. But there are also a greater number of responsibilities. Plus, apparently after the age of 21 you are too old to do any of the really fun stuff (except rent a car, which is super annoying). So, I’ve compiled a list of things that, at the age of 22, I am now too old to do.

1. Be adopted by Ellen Degeneres and Portia de Rossi. Because apparently when you turn 18, you are legally an “adult”. So I guess my dreams of sitting around the dinner table telling Ellen and Portia about my day at school is probably never gonna come true.

2. Be a Disney Channel star. Okay, this one is debatable. Although I’m 22, I look pretty young, so it’s probably not my age holding me back from being a Disney star. It’s probably more my lack of talent. But I’m gonna go ahead and blame it on my age, for self esteem reasons.

3. Not have a boyfriend. I’m 22 and my biological clock (and mainly society) is telling me that it’s not okay to be single at this point in my life.

4. SCOUTED. I don’t know if you’ve seen the show Scouted on E! but it’s about girls who get discovered in malls and restaurants and then go on to New York for a photo shoot. They get their hair done and beautiful make up and fabulous outfits. All in all it looks pretty awesome. Sounds glamorous right? Well, apparently the age cutoff if 21. Because I guess after that you’re all dried up and wrinkly and old anyways. Now, I’m 5’4’’ and I’m definitely no model, but I like having my options, ok?

5. College. I would sell a vital organ to be in college again. But nooooo, I had to get all old and graduate. Lame.

6. Be excited about driving. Imagine this. You’re 16 and you just got your license. You are begging your friends and parents to let you drive them somewhere. Flash forward to 22. You are begging your friends and parents to drive you places again. Because driving sucks.

7. Ignorance. You know the saying “ignorance is bliss”? I guarantee that someone came up with that after watching the news a few times. Seriously, if you turn on the news all you hear about it murders, kidnappings, crazy gas prices, global warming, natural disasters, or our seemingly failing government. But because I’m 22, I can’t really just pretend these things aren’t happening. I have a responsibility to be a participating member of society, and I can’t participate well if I don’t know the facts. How nice would it be to be a kid again and not have to worry about all this junk!

So there you have it, folks. Maybe for my next blog, I'll post the good things about growing up. Just to balance it out.


“When you're young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun. Then, you grow up and learn to be cautious. You could break a bone or a heart. You look before you leap and sometimes you don't leap at all because there's not always someone there to catch you. And in life, there's no safety net. When did it stop being fun and start being scary?” -Sex and the City
　

Where Did The Time Go??

Well, in case you aren’t already feeling really really ancient, here are some fun facts that will make you cringe:
1. Regis Philbin is retiring from Regis & Kelly, which I still remember as Regis & Kathy Lee
2. American Idol is starting its 10th season
3. Titanic came out in theaters in 1997. 14 years ago…
4. The first Harry Potter book was also released in 1997.
5. Saved By The Bell began 22 years ago
6. Popular Blink182 songs such as What’s My Age Again, All The Small Things, and Adam’s Song all came out 12 years ago
7. Homeward Bound was filmed in 1993. 17 years ago. The dogs and cat are definitely dead by now.
8. Spongebob Squarepants is turning 11
9. Macaulay Culkin is 30
10. I will leave you with this gem of a video
- http://vimeo.com/7989835

Now excuse me while I go look for gray hair and watch QVC.