Finding Beauty at the OB/GYN

The title is pretty straight forward and maybe a little bit shocking. Hang with me for another minute to see what I mean...(and yes, Dad, it's safe to read).

In nursing school you see many different views of the human body; inside, outside, dead, alive, old, young, and everything in between. But today I saw a completely different view than I’m used to. I saw beauty in imperfection. Let me explain…

I’m about a week into my maternity rotation, and to be completely honest, have not really loved anything about the birthday process in general. However, today was my first clinical day and I was in an OB/GYN clinic. My job was to give a few shots, observe a few exams, and hold a few babies. And I learned a lot from doing all of these things. But my greatest lesson came to me when I was least expecting it. There was a mother who had recently given birth to the most adorable twins. As she walked back into the office I noticed something different about her. Most of the women before her had been very hesitant when stepping onto the scale; however, this sweet mother happily stepped on the scale, and yet she never took her eyes off of her babies, sitting happily in the stroller. She didn’t care about the number; she cared about her two precious gifts. And in that moment I saw such a beauty in her. No, she didn’t have the “ideal” body (or what society has deemed “ideal”). Her eyes looked tired. Her shirt had a mysterious stain on the shoulder. Her stomach was soft and round. And yes, her eyes were tired, but they were also beautiful and full of love and pride as she showed off her babies to the whole office. Her shirt was stained probably from cuddling one of her sweet little ones. Her stomach was soft because it just housed 2 precious lives for 9 months. I have no doubt that this woman’s eyes will see tears and laughter as her babies grow. Her shirt will continue to get stained from spit up, arts and crafts, or school projects. Her arms will get strong from holding those growing babies, and her legs will get a work out chasing 2 toddlers around the house. And her heart will swell with pride, and grow more than she could ever have imagined.

Today I did not judge a less-than-perfect woman based on her appearance (as I so often do with myself). Today I saw the beauty in imperfection. So maybe I still don’t know exactly what a cervix feels like, or how to read an ultrasound. But I did see some very cool things today, and learned some very important lessons. And for that I am thankful.

 

What's Going On?

What has society done to us? I’ve always heard stories about how powerful the media can be in influencing how girls feel about themselves. However, I always figured I was educated enough and smart enough to rise above the media influences. But lately I have realized that I too have succumbed to the influences and pressures of society. For example, today I was watching Dance Moms (judge me all you want, as a former dancer, it’s intriguing) and I found myself actually envying the girls bodies. Yes, they are strong and full of muscle, but that wasn't what I was envying. I was envying their size. The size of their arms, the size of their thighs, the width of their hips. How ridiculous is that? These girls are 8, 9, and 10 years old. They are young girls who haven’t fully developed, and I’m jealous of their young, thin, predeveloped bodies. I actually found myself getting upset about my own body. And it’s not just them I'm envious of. And it’s not just me who is envious. With waif thin, modelesque women all over the TV, internet, and magazines, it can be hard to even find a woman who has the shape of an actual woman! We are told by society, by the media, and by ourselves that this is normal. And that having hips and thighs that jiggle is not. Here’s an example:

One of these girls is 11 years old. One of them is 30. By looking at their tiny, childlike legs, you would never know who was who. For the record, the one on the left if 30 year old Nicole Richie, while the one on the right is 11 year old Paige Hyland. However, we live in a society that tells us that this shape is ideal, no matter what age, no matter what the cost. And with my everyday media consumption, I have become complacent. I’ve become used to this idea and even accepted this idea as my own reality. So my message to you, and especially to myself, is this: Be actively aware of what you are taking in. Be mindful of the media images. Separate reality from the rest and realize that no one can tell you who to be or what to look like except for yourself. Stop comparing yourself to people younger than you, or taller than you, or thinner than you. And start loving yourself.

And if you need a little help, you can check out @TeamTrueBeauty on Twitter, or some of their wonderfully inspiring celebrity interviews on body image and self-esteem. Check out these interviews by Daphne Zuniga, Allison Munn, Amanda Schull, Eliza Dushku, Shantel Van Santen, Sara Paxton, Lisa Goldstein, Beverley Mitchell, India de Beaufort, and Jodie Sweetin.

The Team True Beauty event!

My main reason for going to LA this past week (other than for an awesome vacation) was to attend the Team True Beauty 1 year Anniversary event. The event took place at the beautiful Avalon Bardot in Hollywood and included a red carpet, a meet and greet, dinner, and some fantastic concerts. I can’t even begin to describe how fun and inspiring the event was. There were so many people there and it was great to see some old friends and meet some new ones. It was also really cool to see so many people of different shapes, sizes, races, ages, abilities, and genders all coming together to support an amazing cause. Throughout the night I got a chance to talk to some amazing celebrities, including Josie Loren, Cassie Scerbo, India DeBeaufort, Alisa Reyes, Jodie Sweetin, Sara Paxton, Sharon Lawrence, Amber Sweeney, and the lovely Team True Beauty ambassadors Shantel VanSanten and Daphne Zuniga. I also got to hear performances by Everly, Annie Automatic, Andrea Merchant, Savannah Outen, and Jessie Payo. And while all of these things were great and added so much fun to the night, I have to share with you 2 of my favorite moments from the event.

The first came when I got a chance to sit down and speak with Shantel. We met back in Wilmington about a year ago, but I never really got a chance to talk with her until this past summer. Over the summer I got to know Shantel a little better and talk to her personally about her story and the messages that she shares with Team True Beauty. However, I know she meets and talks to a million different people, so I was happily surprised when I got to the event and she knew who I was. Once some of the chaos of the meet and greet calmed down, I got a chance to sit down with Shantel and talk to her a little bit more. As usual, she was so sweet in sharing a little more of her story with me. We talked about how important it is to be confident in yourself so that others can see you as an example to be confident in themselves too. We talked about how it’s okay to have struggles and to ask for help because we all struggle and it’s those challenges that bring us together and make us who we are. We finished off the chat with a great big hug and a few tears and moved along with the night. Having those few minutes to talk one on one with Shantel was really special to me, and I am so thankful to have her to talk to.

The next best moment of the night came when it was time for the ambassadors to give their speeches. Shantel and Daphne both had some amazing things to say! My words can't really do it justice, so I'll let the video speak for itself!

There are so many parts of this speech that really stood out to me, I will be blogging about the entire speech in a different post. But for now, enjoy the video and the pictures!

Me and TTB Ambassador Daphne Zuniga

Me and the always sweet Shantel VanSanten

Me and the gorgeous Josie Loren

Me and my travel buddy/roommate, Lindsey

PS- I am so thankful for Megan, Lindsey, Brandi, Julianna, Lolly, Richard, Dana, Amy, Kristen, Michelle, Nicole, Brittany, Morgan, Megan, and Meriam. You all made the night so fun and I’m so glad to know you!

Beauty

Being a girl is hard. If you have ever overheard a typical teenage girl conversation, it probably sounded a little like this: (watch here). Unfortunately the nitpicking and self consciousness doesn’t magically disappear with age. As a woman, why is it so easy to see the beauty in other women and so hard to see the beauty in ourselves. I really do believe that a large part of being beautiful includes being self confident. So why is this so difficult? Why do we focus on the ‘my fingers are too fat, my eyes are too small, my butt is too big, my thighs are too fat, my bellybutton is too high’ kind of thoughts? How exhausting. For me personally, it is the easiest thing in the world to encourage other girls and speak of true inner beauty. And some days I find myself believing it. And then there are days like today. The days where you try at least 15 different outfits and find yourself sitting on your closet floor in a pile of clothes and frustration. When you feel like you can’t stand to look at your reflection in the mirror for one more second, and yet you keep looking for flaws. When you find yourself comparing yourself to everyone else. These are some of the hardest days, and the days that I really wish I could just crawl into bed, snuggle into my cocoon and magically wake up and emerge as a beautiful butterfly. Unfortunately, this is not a realistic option. So on those days when you are feeling the need to find every possible flaw on your body, know that you are not alone. Also know that you are beautiful. We all are beautiful in our own unique ways. But I guarantee you, there is something beautiful about everyone. So go youtube “Skin Deep” by Zoegirl and really listen to the words, or think of 3 things you like about yourself, and remember that you are more than the numbers on a scale, the tags on the clothes you wear, or the size of your pants.