JTH Class of 2007

With local high school students graduating tomorrow, I’ve been thinking a lot about my own high school graduation 5 years ago. I was at a good place in my life. I was happy, I had plans for the future, and I had friends and family supporting me. And yet all I can remember about my high school graduation is the panic that set in the actual day of graduation. I don’t remember being sad about leaving my friends, or excited for my accomplishment. I remember the panic. What was I so panicked about, you may ask. What am I almost always panicked about? Fear. Two of my uncles, my aunt, and my grandmother all flew down from Maine and Connecticut for the occasion, which was so nice. And yet that didn’t help with the building anxiety. The 4 local high schools are on a rotation for graduation times, and that year my school was set to graduate last, at 7pm. This meant I had a whole day to prepare for graduation. Some of my friends spent the day going to parties or getting their hair or nails done. I spent the day curled up in fetal position in my parents water bed. Something in my brain was telling me “you can’t do this. It’s a crowded auditorium. You’ll panic and get stuck and make a fool out of yourself in front of tons of people, including your family. Stay in bed. Don’t go”. I sat in bed crying and shaking and generally feeling nauseated at the thought of going to graduation. I knew I had to go and walk and do it. My family had flown in just to see my graduate; I couldn’t let them down! And so with some coaxing from my parents, I got myself out of bed, put on my dress, cap, and gown, and rode down to UNCW with my dad. I honestly don’t remember standing in line with my classmates, or sitting in the crowd, or even walking across stage to get my piece of paper. I vaguely remember going back to a classroom and getting my actual diploma, and taking pictures with friends. But all in all, graduation was not a wonderful memory for me. In fact, when I think back to my high school graduation, yes I’m proud that I graduated (especially since the odds were against me at one point), but I think what I’m most proud of is the fact that I did it. I went to graduation. I think that walking across that stage was my one final hoorah to high school panic.