Cats are evil.

Lions, tigers, and bears (oh my!). All of these are animals that are super cute as babies, but then grow up to be pretty dangerous to humans. Most people don’t have these animals as pets, simply because they are not meant to live in captivity.
I feel the same way about house cats. Lions, cheetahs, leopards, tigers. All cats. All dangerous. So why do we invite these small creatures to live in our homes? Yes yes, they are very cute as babies, but so are bears. Cats are mentally and physically evil. They use their big eyes and fluffy bodies to draw you in. When they are kittens they play with yarn and purr and roll around like adorable creatures. But then they grow up. Their eyes get squinty, they get hairballs, and they start using your legs as scratching posts. They also pee on your bed (hence why I am currently making my bed on the couch tonight and ranting about cats). Perhaps their biggest scam is when they rub against you, purring, making you relive the moments when they were sweet, innocent kittens. Just as you are getting caught up in the moment and start to scratch their heads, they turn around and bite you with their evil fangs. Long story short, if we have accepted cats as house pets, we might as well open our doors to raccoons, bears, snakes, and black widows. Can I get an amen?

PS- If you doubt me, go ahead and turn off the lights, then shine a flashlight on a cat. All you’ll see it 2 glowing orbs of evil. Proof that they have Voldemort or the devil inside of them.