Pressure

There is an overwhelming amount of pressure that comes with being 22, and something tells me it will just get worse with age. There is such a push to be something or do something when really I’m still just trying to figure myself out. For most of my life, people in my age range have been at pretty similar parts in their lives. We all went to school at the same time and graduated at roughly the same time and got our licenses at the same time and celebrated turning 21 at the same time. But now things are different. Now some people are continuing on in more schooling and some are getting jobs. Some are taking a year off to move back home, and some are taking a year off to travel. All these different paths and options are so stressful to me. You see, I’m a comparer. I can’t help it. I have a tendency to compare my life to other peoples lives. So it gets stressful hearing about all the different things everyone is doing. But the most stressful part is the relationship pressure. I can name at least 20 people that I know who are engaged, married, or have a child. I don’t even have a boyfriend. Heck, I don’t even have a friend who’s a boy. Plus it doesn’t help that my parents got married at 19 and had me at 26. I can’t help but feel behind. I can’t help but wonder, “will I ever get married?” I’m 22. If I meet a boy this year and all goes well I could be married by the time I’m 24 and maybe start popping out kids by the time I’m 26. But let’s be real, that’s not going to happen. I’m 22 and I’ve never had a serious relationship (yes, I am admitting that on the internet). I really can’t help but think I’m defective in some way. But for heavens sake, I’m 22! I just graduated from college 6 months ago. I’m still in school. I don’t have a career figured out. So, no- I don’t know when I’ll get a boyfriend, or when I’ll get married, or when I’ll give my parents grandchildren. I’m only 22 and half the time I feel like the world is yelling at me to speed up, catch up, and grow up.