Updates!

Holy Moly! Look who’s back! I have so many updates, I don’t even know where to begin. I’ll hit some of the highlights and try to update more consistently.

1. Graduation. After 2 years of nursing school boot camp, I’m finally graduating in 21 days! I honestly can’t believe everything I’ve been working so hard for is finally here. I’m so excited to be done, but there is a lot of stress that comes with graduation. First of all, I live in student housing, so I have 14 days after graduation to move. Second of all, there’s still the NCLEX to take. Third, I need to get a job. There’s also something very bittersweet about leaving nursing school and the friends I’ve made. We spend SO much time together studying and talking about gross things, we really bond and become like family. I’m sure we will all stay in touch, but it will just be different. And I really hate change.

2. Moving. As I mentioned above, I have to move shortly after graduation. AKA I have 35 days to find somewhere to live, sign a lease, and move. Luckily one of my best nursing school buddies is also looking for somewhere to live, so this week we’ve begun the house search together! I’ll be really excited once I know I won’t be homeless.

3. Precepting. I don’t think I’ve updated since I started precepting. For all of you who don’t quite know what precepting is, it’s basically an unpaid internship where you work with a nurse and gradually take over responsibility for her patients. For our program we have to complete 144 hours, or 12 12 hour shifts! At the beginning of the semester, we ranked where we wanted to specialize and precept. Luckily I got placed on pediatric oncology, which is where I already work as a tech, and ultimately where I want to get a job. The preceptor I got assigned, works nights, so I have been doing a lot of night shifts, and let me tell you, the adjustment is not easy…but that’s a whole other post. Anyways, I’ve done 10 shifts and have 2 more left. I’ll be precepting my last shift on Sunday night and have big plans to celebrate on Monday morning!

4. Interview. That’s right, my big Monday morning celebration is an interview! I got the call from HR yesterday that my nurse manager has reviewed my resume and wants to interview me for an RN position! I’m so excited. It would be for a new grad nursing position on the pediatric oncology floor, AKA my dream job. There are 7 people interviewing for the same position, so I’m really trying not to get my hopes up. It’s just so hard since I’ve worked there and precepted there. I’ve really gotten to know the patients and families and wonderful staff; I can’t imagine working anywhere else. So I’d appreciate any prayers/good vibes yall want to send my way on Monday morning around 8am (especially after working a 12 hour night shift!).

5. IOP. I don’t think I’ve updated since I started IOP, so the short and sweet version is that I began IOP in January and completed 8 weeks. I honestly could write a few blog posts about it, but right now it’s still kind of emotional and raw. But someday I will share with you what I learned and my experience.

6. CPR. OMG. I really need to dedicate a whole post to this, but I will give you a little teaser by telling you that I did CPR on an actual person for the first time and it was one of the most intense experiences of my life.

7. Miscellaneous/Other: I’m newly obsessed with Criminal Minds (I want to be Emily Prentiss). I actually researched job listings with the BAU because I’m that obsessed/slightly crazy. I’m also not physically fit enough to actually work for the FBI. I got my wisdom teeth out and greatly enjoyed my Valium. I went to a Demi Lovato concert and greatly enjoyed it, even though I’m 24. I registered for this years Hungry for Hope (the conference I went to in Nashville last summer), and I’m really excited to reunite with some friends and travel back to Nashville.



I think that pretty much covers it for now. But my creative juices are starting to flow again, so hopefully I will be updating more often. Plus, I teased yall and still need to elaborate and share more about night shift life, IOP, and my crazy CPR experience!

　

　

　

　

　

　

　

　

Snow Season

There are two ways to react to the snow, and your response often depends on your age. As a child, you wish for snow. You wear your pajamas inside out and backwards, you sleep with a spoon under your pillow, you follow through with every superstition possible to ensure at least a flake of snow to cancel school. Then you spend the entire snow day playing outside, scraping together a snowman, drinking hot chocolate, and having fun. A snow day for a child is the best.
 But once you get older and start having more responsibilities, you learn to hate the inconvenience of snow. Because when you are an adult, your responsibilities don’t depend on the weather. When you are an adult and it snows, things get rescheduled and your whole week becomes a jumbled mess. You quickly find out that life doesn't stop for snow; it just becomes more inconvenient.

This week, it’s supposed to snow. When I saw the forecast, I couldn’t help but grumble. I have classes, and information sessions, and doctors appointments, and study groups, and a test. I don’t want to have to reschedule everything. It actually put me in a really bad mood.

However, in the midst of my grumbling, I was provided with a reality slap in the face perspective shift. You see, one of my children (yes, that’s what I call the kids I work with) has been told he doesn’t have much time left. Right now he is home, and enjoying the time he has left with his family. Tonight his mom posted that she is excited that it might snow so that her sweet son can enjoy a final snow day.

Bring on the snow. I hope there’s enough snow for him to build a snowman bigger than himself. I hope he plays and builds things and laughs and smiles, until it is time to come inside for some hot cocoa and a nap. I hope that he has the best snow day, for him and for his family.

So yes, while I’m excited for spring time and warmer weather, for this week I am going to be content in the snow. For this week, I am reminded that joy can be found in every season.

TTB & V-Day team up!

Peanut butter and jelly. Macaroni and cheese. Mickey and Minnie. Some things are just meant to be together. Which is why I am so excited to announce the collaboration of Team True Beauty and V-Day! I’ve worked with Team True Beauty from the start and strongly believe in everything they stand for. This organization works to empower women from within. It encourages people to use their voices and believe in the power of their worth and purpose. Team True Beauty firmly believes that every woman has a story, and behind each story is the power and potential to make a great impact. Unfortunately and all too often, women are believing that they are worth nothing more than a number- a number on a scale, on a test, on a pair of jeans. However, Team True Beauty works to empower women and help them to remember that heart, passion, dreams and desires…that’s what matters, and that is what can help to change the world.

Now a little bit about V-Day. V-Day is a movement to end violence against women and girls all over the world. It promotes creative events to help increase awareness, as well as raise money, and encourage the general movement. The physical consequences of violence against women are terrible and extremely dangerous. However, the psychological consequences are just as bad. V-Day is working to help stop the cycle of violence and provide support through empowerment.

I am so excited for this collaboration and cannot wait to see what the future holds. Gloria Arroyo said: “The power of one, if fearless and focused, is formidable. But the power of many working together is better.”
 

Beautifully Broken

There are times in your life where you feel pulled in a million different directions by nothing in particular. There are times in your life where you feel broken. The dictionary defines “broken” as “being irregular, interrupted, or full of obstacles”. It can be hard to admit that you feel broken. To be honest, it’s hard to admit anytime you feel less than perfect. As humans, we have learned to protect ourselves and our pride by promoting ourselves as whole and together. But if you have lived, you have experienced some sense of brokenness. And yet in our society, broken is seen as bad, so we try our best to become whole again. We attempt to patch our holes and fill our cracks with quick and easy fixes, but these do not last, and eventually we break again. But what if we learn to become okay in our broken state? What if we were to stop striving to be perfect, and realize that we are broken people. We are broken and hole-y people, with a perfect and holy God. We can try to patch our own holes, but we will never succeed without the help of God. Easier said than done, I know. When you are in a situation where you are feeling broken, it’s so easy to go for the quick fix, and so often we think that we know what is best for ourselves. I am so guilty of this. But Psalm 147:3 says, “The Lord heals the broken hearted, and binds up their wounds”. So it’s really not my job to put myself back together. It’s my job to trust that God will make a beautiful mosaic out of my broken pieces, and to remember that we are never broken beyond repair. After all, isn’t a mosaic just a collection of broken pieces, put back together in a beautiful and imperfect arrangement?

Hello, my name is Brooke. And sometimes I feel broken.
 

My sweet friend, Jeanette, summed it up perfectly with this one picture.

Welcome to the World

Today I had the opportunity to see a baby being brought into this world. I couldn’t help but be emotional for this growing family and this baby, who was already so clearly loved. This little girl opened her eyes to our big world for the first time, and I couldn’t help but think of her future. So I decided to write a letter; a letter that she will never see, but hopefully learn throughout life:

Dear sweet baby girl,

Happy birthday and welcome to the world. I know you’re only a few hours old and you’re still getting used to all of the new noises and sights, but there are a few things I want to tell you.

Stay as young as you can for as long as you can. Appreciate your parents, they did a lot to bring you into this world and they are madly in love with you. They may not know everything, but they are learning right along with you. Participate. Don’t let life pass you by because you are afraid or unsure. Jump in head first and explore all of life’s opportunities. Right now your parents are probably looking over every inch of your tiny, perfect body. They are loving your tiny toes, your squishy thighs, your soft round tummy, your fuzzy head. Appreciate your body for as long as you can. Be aware that you have a body and that it is capable of many amazing things, but don’t think too hard about it. You may grow up hearing, “oh you’re so tiny, you’re so beautiful, you’re so cute”. And you are. But you are so much more than that. You are a culmination of many things. You are your memories and experiences, what makes you laugh, and what makes you cry. You are your favorite foods, and the songs you like to sing, and your plans for the future. You are the light that shines in your eyes when you get excited about something. You are your favorite subject in school, and your intelligence that helps you to understand these things. You are a daughter, a friend, a granddaughter, maybe even a sister or cousin. You are a child of Christ, and you are made up of so many wonderful things. But sweet girl, there are also so many things that you are not. You are not your pants size, or the number on a scale, or a grade on a test, or the money you have or don’t have. You are more than the number of friends you have, or the sports you play.

So yes, you are so beautiful; don’t ever forget that. But you are also brave, and strong, and smart, and capable of so many things. So as you go through life, you will face times of hardships and times of doubt. But times of happiness and joy and love are never far away. Happy birthday. And welcome. Enjoy.

my welcoming into the world

　

Teacher Appreciation

Every once in a while, a person drifts into your life at just the right time, even though you may not know it yet. For me, that person was a teacher; and this teacher was my high school chorus teacher.

For the first year of high school Mr. Horrell was just another teacher. He was funny and I enjoyed his class, but I honestly don’t remember him as a standout part of my freshman year. Sophomore year is when everything changed. When I was 15 my life drastically changed. I can honestly say it was one of the lowest and hardest times of my life. By the second semester of my sophomore year, I decided that attending regular classes wasn’t an option for me anymore, so I was “hospital homebound” (which is basically saying I was self taught at home). During this time I wasn’t leaving my house or really willingly accepting visitors. I was a prisoner to myself and I spent most days in my pajamas wanting to be anyone other than myself. My teachers were all very cooperative and understanding and made sure to send me homework and lessons at home. However, one teacher went above and beyond and reached out to me. Mr. Horrell would call my mom to check in on me and would occasionally send me e-mails, via my mom, to check in and see how I was doing. He kept me informed on what was going on in school and told me that they’d be waiting for me when I was ready to come back. He asked me about my doctors visits and how my progress was coming and offered up advice. He worked with me to make goals for myself. When it was time to take the state writing test (which could not be taken from home!), he offered me his office to sit in to take the test. I remember he talked to my mom and suggested we plan a practice run before the official test day, in order to decrease my anxiety. So during his planning period one day, I saw in his office as we ran through a mock writing test. By junior year, when I was easing my way back into school, he helped me to come up with a plan. It may not seem like much, but it was the small moments that helped me to get through high school.

In all honestly, I’m not sure if I would have made it through high school without the support of an amazing teacher (as well as my parents, friends, and doctors). He saw me at some of my worst times and continued to support me through it. And because of that, we have stayed in touch. Last year, on my 23^rd birthday, I was able to spend the evening with my parents, as well as Horrell and his wife. I am forever thankful for this teacher, who turned into a friend.

I thought I’d share an excerpt of what Horrell wrote in my senior year book:

“June 8, 2007
Brooke,
First of all let me say something that 3 years ago I wasn’t sure I would, WOW- YOU MADE IT!!!! It is remarkable, excuse me…you are a remarkably courageous and determined young lady. I am so proud of you for fighting with everything you have. Greatness is measure in different ways, and often confused by those taking the measurement. I would argue that your “fight to finish” is a true mark of greatness, and ranks along side any award or acknowledgement that is given at Saturday’s graduation ceremony. I don’t think I would have done as well as you if faced with the same obstacle!! Rarely in a teacher’s career does a student impact the teacher’s life in a way that changes his approach to teaching, and life for that matter, the way you have impacted me! I am a better person/teacher because of you…”

So teachers, as the school year begins and you’re overwhelmed with chaos and excitement and frustration and exhaustion, please know that what you do matters. And what you say, and the relationships you form, have the ability to change a life.

 

Pediatric Cancer Awareness Month

September. The beginning of fall, a new school year, pumpkin spice lattes, cooler temps, and pediatric cancer awareness month. As many of you know, I work on a pediatric oncology/hematology floor in a childrens hospital and am extremely blessed to work with this population. These kids are some of the bravest, strongest, and sweetest people I’ve ever met, and they are facing the challenge of a lifetime. Pediatric cancer doesn’t just affect the child, but the whole family. Unfortunately, each day 36 children are diagnosed with cancer.

On November 9^th, I will be walking in the CureSearch walk. The CureSearch walk celebrates and honors children whose lives have been affected by childhood cancer, while raising funds for lifesaving research.
This is a cause that is very near and dear to my heart and I would love all the support I can get. Please take a few minutes to check out my personal page, and see what you can do to help (donate money, volunteer, spread the word)! These kids deserve a future, and we can help give them that!

http://www.curesearchwalk.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=1058928&lis=1&kntae1058928=BB511A7D4EA140FF9166C5C26789279D&supId=390172865