17 years. That's how long I've been in school. I am 21 years old and 17 of those years have been spent buying notebooks and pencils in August and counting down days to summer break. Now I am counting down days to graduation. And after that there will be no more school supply shopping in August. So weird.
But anyways, in my 17 years of schooling I don't think I've ever felt as dumb as I do now. I am 21 years old and graduating from a fairly prestigious university in a few months, and yet I have no options. I have applied to nursing schools and been wait listed and I know with my GPA I won't get into any graduate schools. So after graduating high school with honors and getting accepted to a competitive, private university, I will probably end up at a community college. Now, don't get me wrong, there is nothing bad about community colleges. I just feel like I'm going backwards. Like everyone else is making progress, getting jobs, going to grad school, getting married. And I am stuck. I don't know what I want to do with my life, I don't know where I want to live, and I don't know how to even begin figuring out how to do this 'growing up' stuff.
Have you ever felt like you are moving in slow motion while the rest of the world speeds by you? I just wanna scream "STOP! PAUSE! SLOW DOWN!" But really maybe everyone else is on the right track and they are yelling at me to 'pick up the pace' or 'speed up'. I just wish I had a clue of where to start. Maybe then I wouldn't feel so dumb!
Sorry. That was my rant for the night. All done! :)
Oh, girrrrl - I am right there with you!
ReplyDeleteI'm STILL in school (my 5th year) and I won't graduate until May 2012. I will be done with "school" this summer but I have to prove myself and student teach for a whole year before I can get my degree and graduate!
I feel like everyone else has passed me by and yet, here I am still in college.
BUT you need to be proud! You are accomplishing SO much for having POTS and health issues. I just like to try and remember that being able to tackle school on top of POTS is an accomplishment within itself! (If I make it... eeeeek!)