Thursday, February 28, 2013

10 Reasons why being a twenty-something is sometimes not the absolute worst!

I complain too much.
So here's a list of 10 reasons why being a twenty-something is sometimes not the absolute worst:

1. You set your own bedtime. For better or worse, you ultimately make that decision

2. You choose your own dinner. Again, this could be for better or worse. Example: Yesterday I had a yogurt and 4 chocolate chip cookies for dinner.

3. You can eat dinner on the couch, or the floor, or in your bed, or standing at the kitchen counter. In our apartment, whenever we order pizza, we have a habit of eating on the living room floor.

4. You can talk about inappropriate things without being scolded. Example: tonight there were 3 of us girls eating at the dinner table, when the dinner conversation turned into looking at nudies of Heather Morris. It happens.

5. You can watch shows like Pretty Little Liars and Celebrity Wife Swap with only a minimal amount of shame.

6. You still have relatively good fashion sense (even though you can’t afford anything). You've (hopefully) progressed past skanky, slutty, teenage trends, and have not yet hit mom-jeans and turtlenecks. You're right in the middle, with cardigans, blazers, and skinny jeans.

7. You can still be spontaneous without being considered irresponsible

8. You can blast your music as loud as you want and have dance parties by yourself, because I’m pretty sure that is the defining characteristic of being 23.

9. You probably hate your body, but it’s actually probably the hottest you’ll ever be. (booooo)

10. You can be as big or as little as you want in the world. You can blend in or you can stand out. You can follow happily, or you could lead boldly. You have some good life experience behind you and a lot of life lessons ahead of you.


Friday, February 22, 2013

All By Myself

In elementary school you make new best friends practically every day. You make new friends throughout middle school, and solidify friendships in high school. Then you pack up and leave for college, where everyone is on their own for the first time, and everyone is scared to some degree. This leads to instant bonding. Plus when you live in the dorms, you tend to get very close very fast. So for the first 21 years of your life, making friends is pretty much built in. And then you graduate. And you move to a new city. And everyone already has their friends from college, or high school, or church, or home. And you have TV. And a 10 pound weight gain. And a self esteem that’s plummeting faster than the sinking Titanic. You have a lot of things, actually. Like student loans up to your ears, parents with more exciting social schedules than you, and an increasingly loud biological clock. One thing you do not have is friends. You may have acquaintances who you work with or have class with. But you don’t have friends who you can call up on Friday night when you feel like staying in and watching a movie; or friends that you can show up at their house at random hours to vent about life. Example: last weekend my roommate was out of town. From the time I left class on Friday to the time she got home on Sunday night, I literally did not have contact with another human being. I did not open my mouth to speak words. No one called me. I didn’t have anyone to call. When you’re constantly hearing that your 20’s are the time of your life, and seeing your friends posting fun pictures all over the internet, and you’re sitting in your pajamas watching reruns of the Brady Bunch and blasting “All By Myself”…your ego tends to take a major hit. Lesson is, it’s really freaking hard to make friends as you get older because everyone already has friends. So if you are stupid brave enough to move to a new city, bring someone with you. Travel in pairs. Noah’s ark had it absolutely correct. Cause it tends to get lonely out there for a new grad.

Stayed tuned for my next post entitled "It snowed and I cried: A look into my Saturdays alone."

                                 Celine gets me, she really does...

Monday, February 18, 2013

Twenty Three

Sometimes you’re 23 and standing in the kitchen of your house making breakfast and brewing coffee and listening to music that for some reason is really getting to your heart. You’re just standing there thinking about going to work and picking up your dry cleaning. And also more exciting things like books you’re reading and trips you plan on taking and relationships that are springing into existence. Or fading from your memory, which is far less exciting. And suddenly you just don’t feel at home in your skin or in your house and you just want home but “Mom’s” probably wouldn’t feel like home anymore either. There used to be the comfort of a number in your phone and ears that listened everyday and arms that were never for anyone else. But just to calm you down when you started feeling trapped in a five-minute period where nostalgia is too much and thoughts of this person you are feel foreign. When you realize that you’ll never be this young again but this is the first time you’ve ever been this old. When you can’t remember how you got from sixteen to here and all the same feel like sixteen is just as much of a stranger to you now. The song is over. The coffee’s done. You’re going to breathe in and out. You’re going to be fine in about five minutes.”           

This is every single thing I've been feeling, summed up perfectly in one quote. Breathe. This too shall pass.

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Pediatric Oncology...It's all about the love.

Every time someone asks me what I want to do with my nursing career, I respond in the same way. “I want to work as a pediatric oncology nurse. I want to work with kids with cancer.” And every time I get the same response. “Wow. I could never do that. That’s going to be so hard!”

I have never once doubted that this field is going to be mentally and emotionally draining. But I’ve had a philosophy for a while, and I finally found a quote to back it. It says, “You cannot save people. You can just love them.”

This quote rings true in every single aspect of life, but especially in pediatric oncology. I may not be able to cure cancer or stop their health from getting worse. But I can love them and care for them through it all. I can’t go into work with the attitude that I can “fix” people, because I can’t. But I can make them smile and laugh. I can talk to them about their feelings and ask them about their interests. If I can make what time they do have left better, then I can be okay with that. These children have a team of doctors coming up with treatment plans for the future, and that is great. But these children don’t always have a tomorrow. They have a right now. And that’s my job- to make their right now happier.

So yes, it is going to be hard, and there are going to be days where I’m worn down by the sadness of it all. But to see a child who is fighting the battle of a lifetime crack a smile…that’s what makes it all worth it.