Friday, December 28, 2012


I first heard the song “Breathe” by Anna Nalick while watching the Grey’s Anatomy episode where Meredith Grey is holding an undetonated bomb steady in someones chest cavity. Naturally, I downloaded the song, learned the words, and mentally played it anytime I’m holding or carrying anything fragile. After hearing it a few million times, I finally decided to really listen to the words. My conclusion? PANIC. This song is panic inducing. I mean, let me break down some of the lyrics for you:

“Life’s like an hourglass glued to the table. No one can find the rewind button, girl.” OH.MY.GOSH. I haven’t felt this much anxiety from a song since “100 Years” by Five for Fighting. I get the mental image of Princess Jasmine getting drowned in the hourglass in Aladdin. STOP IT! I just want to listen to music. I’m not trying to think deeply about my mortality and time on this earth. And DUH the song is called “Breathe” because she knew when she wrote it that it was gonna make people like me anxious, so she had to write in a reminder to keep breathing. But then I think, maybe Ms. Nalick was ahead of her time. Maybe this is just an early version of YOLO. “Hey guys, time’s running out in your life’s hourglass. You better YOLO it up!”

You win, Anna Nalick. You win. When I calm down, stop hyperventilating, and crawl out of fetal position I will go live it up. But never fear, because in the back of my mind I will now always be thinking about my lifes hourglass dripping away as my time here on earth quickly runs out.

I think I need a therapist now.



Les Mis was Les Great!

So, I saw Les Miserables. And I was going to write a wonderfully poetic movie review…but I think those use words like “harrowingly” and I don’t even really know what that means. So I’m still gonna write a review. But it probs won’t be very poetic or wonderful. Just honest.

The cinematography was to die for. Hahahahahaah. JK! I don’t know what cinematography is, although it probably was pretty great in this movie. But the scenery and lighting was for real amazing. The music was a whole other level. I’m sure you’ve heard that the actors did all of their singing live, meaning not prerecorded. This allowed the actors to really get into the moment and sing with emotion. The results were amazing and beautiful and haunting and perfect. I especially loved that the vocals weren’t “pretty”. Yes, everyone had amazing voices, but they weren’t afraid to let the emotion overtake the beauty of the song, and that’s honestly what made it so raw and great.
Anne Hathaway. Marry me. Her voice was raw and pure and gorgeously full of emotion. Her storyline was my favorite and her acting was “to die for” (which is a pun, cause she dies. Duh!) Although her 25 pound weight loss was definitely not healthy, I can appreciate that she committed fully to the role. And I even more appreciate that she refuses to discuss how she lost the weight, stating “I get nervous talking about it because I find that I don’t want to be seen as glamorizing it, and there’s a lot of talk, a lot of pressure, especially among young girls, to lose weight, and what I did was, I didn’t do it to get hot, like, I did it to look like I was dying …”. She is perfect. Everything she is in is amazing. I mean, Love & Other Drugs, Rachel Getting Married, Devil Wears Prada, Becoming Jane, Brokeback Mountain. It doesn’t get much better.
Next is Hugh Jackman. Um, hello, where did he come from? I mean, I know he’s famous but since I don’t care at all about X Men, I never knew who he was. And now I do and I’ll never ever ever forget. Ever. He can sing. He can act. And he can have my babies, please.
Amanda Seyfried was great as Cosette! Usually I don’t love her roles, because she almost always comes off as a ditzy blonde. But I was really impressed to see her do something more serious. I hope she does more like this. And also, I want to know the highest note she can hit, because she kind of sounds like a canary, in a good way.
Samantha Barks is a newbie and plays Eponine. I couldn’t really focus on her acting or her singing because I was too busy staring at her lack of waist. She’s not a particularly skinny girl, but her waist is probably a size -2.
The little Cosette and the little boy, Gavroche, were amazing and gorgeous and talented and I want them to date in real life, which is weird because they’re like 9.
And last but not least, Russell Crowe’s character was a doucher, and I don’t really care about Eddie Redmayne at all.
In conclusion, I highly recommend this movie and want to see it 20 more times, at least.
I also want to have a beautiful singing voice, save all of the poor prostitutes, and adopt the little revolution boy.
This is this little girls first movie. And now she's the face of Les Mis. She is the definition of winning.

OMG OMG OMG. Little Cosette and little Gavroche together.

She cries, I cry.

Excuse me miss, where's your waist?

Hugh Jackman with a child. dead.

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

Do you remember me? I sat upon your knee. I wrote to you with childhood fantasies. Well, I'm all grown up now and still need help somehow. I'm not a child, but my heart still can dream.So here's my lifelong wish, my grown up christmas list. Not for myself but for a world in need.
-No more lives torn apart
-That wars would never start
-And time would heal all hearts
-And everyone would have a friend
-And right would always win
-And love would never end

As children we believed the grandest sight to see was something lovely wrapped beneath our tree. But heaven only knows
that packages and bows can never heal a hurting human soul.
This is my grown up christmas list. This is my only life long wish. This is my grown up christmas list.

Brooke (age 23)
My first Christmas

just hanging out with Santa

Christmas morning was so magical and unwrapping gifts was the best!

celebrating with Emily

Christmas dance recital

dancing with Dad on Christmas morning

look at all those presents!

Christmas with Iza was one of my favorites!

Christmas 2012

Thursday, December 20, 2012

2012 in review.

Life is beautiful and tragic and magical and terrifying and wonderful. And I'm still learning how to embrace the beautiful and heart-wrenching ache of being human.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Loss of Innocence

2 days ago the unthinkable happened. 20 beautiful innocents were taken from this world. 7 heroic adults lost their lives. A nation, a town, and entire families were changed forever. Yes, I am talking about the Newtown, CT elementary school massacre. Those are two things that should never be in the same sentence. Elementary school and massacre. Honestly, I don’t have much to say about the topic. Debating gun control and mental health care cannot change the events of that day. It can’t bring those 20 children home to their families. It won’t erase the terror and memories that the surviving children will have to learn to live with. It won’t erase the parents heartache from hearing that their children won’t be home for the holidays. It won’t bring back the heroic teachers and adults who died to save children. When such a tragedy occurs, there are often many questions. Why did this happen? What was the motive? What could have been done differently? What do we do next? Some things we may never know the answer to. But before we divide as a nation over politics, let’s throw details aside and come together as a nation to support Newtown and mourn the great losses. Let’s take time, this holiday season, to acknowledge how fortunate we are, and to help out those less fortunate. Because what we all need right now is a little hope. Hope that there is still good in the world. Hope for the present. Hope for the future. Hope for humanity. So I challenge you all to spread some holiday hope this season, and in light of recent events, and perform a random act of kindness. Buy someones coffee. Bake cookies for the mailman. Donate to a favorite charity. Find some way to give back and bring some light back into this holiday season. Do it for the Innocents.

May angels lead you in...

Sunday, December 9, 2012

My Best Decision

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" -2 Corinthians 5:17

5 years ago. December 9th/10th, 2007. A lot had changed that year. I graduated high school, started college, moved away from home… Little did I know that the most important change of my life would come in the middle of the night in the midst of finals in December. I was always a “good girl” growing up. I never drank or really broke the rules. I didn’t go to church though either. So I had no plans to begin attending church when I went away to college. However, on one of the first nights at school, a girl named Amy knocked on my dorm door. Amy was the womens coordinator for Campus Outreach at Elon and seemed really sweet. It did seem a little strange to me that this girl wasn’t a student at Elon and that she was being so nice to me after just meeting me. But at this point I was desperate for friends, so I accepted the offer to hang out with Amy some more. Through Amy I met other girls from Campus Outreach and started hanging out with them. I didn’t drink or party, so it seemed only right that I would hang out with a group of people who had seemingly similar interests. After hanging out with these people I realized that there was something different about them, although I couldn’t specifically pinpoint what it was. After going on the beach getaway and hanging out with these girls more and having conversations with them, I realized that the thing that was “different” was God. After going to church with these girls and hanging out I became embarrassed by my lack of knowledge. As an 18 year old girl, I knew absolutely nothing about Jesus. Everyone was really nice and I was beginning to understand the gospel, but I didn’t think I was ready to make a decision. I knew that accepting Christ into my life would mean giving up control, and I wasn’t sure if I was ready for that. But after some discussions with Paige and Steph, I thought about this issue of control in a different light. I could give up control to a perfect and holy being and take the pressure off of myself. So I thought “this is cool. But not right now. Let me give it some time.” I didn’t have a lot of head knowledge and I didn’t think I was quite good enough yet. When I told Steph this she read me Isaiah 55 which basically talks about “all who are thirsty come drink…” It basically gave me the message of “come as you are” which was such an exciting and foreign concept to me. I didn’t have to clean myself up or be perfect. That was what Christ was for. I still wasn’t sure about what accepting Christ into my life would look like so I was thinking “not now”. Steph challenged me by saying “you saying not saying yes is you saying no. saying not now is saying no.” I hadn’t thought about it in that way and I really didn’t want to be saying no. So on December 10, 2007 I decided to my Christ the Lord of my life. I was half expecting to start floating or flying or something, but that didn’t happen. Things did change though. I did realize what God was doing in my life and how He affected all of my decisions. Since then, I have still struggled with control issues and surrender but my favorite verse- Philippians 1:6- says that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. This promise has been so important to me because it reminds me that I am not perfect and I am not expected to me, but that Christ will continue to work in me and through me. I love looking back at that day 5 years ago. God has changed my life completely and brought me through some hard things, that ultimately have made me stronger. He has been there every step of the way through and continues to grow me in faith and strength. And even on the days when I am tired and things are hard, I know that my God will always be the same God who came into my heart and changed me that December 10th five years ago.

Monday, December 3, 2012

Something More...

So sometimes I get this feeling, and I don’t know how to clearly describe it, but I’m going to do my best.
Do you ever get the feeling that you’re bigger than your life? That you’re meant for something more? Something bigger? Something not so ordinary? I get this feeling kind of a lot. The feeling that I’m supposed to be doing something bigger with my life. I wish I knew exactly what it was, but I don’t. I just know that growing up, things would happen in my life and I would tell my dad, “oh, this is going to be part of my E! True Hollywood Story one day”. I don’t necessarily care about the fame or the money. I just want to fulfill whatever it is I’m supposed to be doing with my life. It sometimes feels like something inside of me is just missing; like I’m not doing something that I should be doing. I asked my mom if she ever felt like this and to my surprise she said no. She claimed that having a child and working is exactly what she felt like she was supposed to be doing. This may sound conceded, but I really do feel like I was made for a life much bigger than that; a path less ordinary. Sometimes I wonder if that's why moving forward in time scares me so much. Because I'm getting older and still haven't found the cause of the feeling yet. Who knows.
Since I can’t exactly place my finger on this feeling, my plan is to continue on in nursing school, and hopefully, one day, an opportunity will come up; an opportunity to be a part of something much bigger than myself. And maybe then I’ll be ready, and I’ll know exactly what it is I’m meant to be doing.


Sunday, December 2, 2012

Favorite Things

“Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens. Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens. Brown paper packages tied up with strings. These are a few of my favorite things!”

The holiday season is upon us. Everyone, including Santa, is making lists this time of the year. Children are making their wish lists to send to the North Pole, Santa is making his naughty and nice list, Oprah and Ellen are making lists of their favorite things. So I thought I’d join in the fun and list some of my current favorite things! Who knows, maybe you’ll get a good gift idea!

1. The book “Still LoLo” by Lauren Scruggs
2. The Jana Kramer CD
3. St. Ives moisturizing cream
4. The new Taylor Swift RED CD
5. Cinnamon Stick Yankee Candle
6. Peppermint Mocha from Starbucks
7. Wrist tattoos
8. Smores flavored anything
9. Carmel cinnamon apple cider from Port City Java
10. Infinity scarves
11. The website Dogshaming
12. High/Low skirts
13. The idea of an adventure/vacation
14. Monogrammed anything
15. Grey’s Anatomy brand scrubs

A few of my FAVORITE things!